Whilst it is illegal to discriminate, I have applied for over 670 jobs since I changed name and started real life test on April 6th 2006, and I have only managed 6 weeks work from it.

I’ve seen many people who are managers but are clearly not leaders primarily because they are not people-persons or well-liked. I’ve also seen many people who have natural leadership abilities and yet are just beginning their careers or chose not to scale the corporate ladder. These natural leaders are clearly well-liked by other employees, and what’s more, their influence within the organization is greater than those who supervise.

Based on what I’ve seen in women who have transitioned successfully in the workplace, they did all they could do be trustworthy, friendly, and are overall people who are pleasant to be around. My hope is that I can create this same influence and likability factor in the workplace enough to want others to want me around in the workplace.

The ban on sex discrimination in access to public accomodations applies to restrooms, just as it does to every other part of a business open to the public. Many people believe that there are laws stating that only men can use the men’s room and vice versa. In fact, as far as I know, no state has such a law, although some cities may. Absent such a law, which may be subject to constitutional challenge, the business cannot discriminate against anyone in allowing access to restrooms based on their sex; in other words, women can legally use the men’s room and vice versa.

When Amber goes to one of these businesses as a contractor, instead of a customer, her status is different and the public accommodations protections may not apply to her on that visit. If, however, she comes back as a customer, e.g., to see a movie, they cannot discriminate against her because she is trans under this theory.

A final caveat: Although many courts have accepted this interpretation of sex discrimination statutes, others have not and instead have held that it does not violate such laws to exclude someone because she or he is trans. Most of those cases predate a 1989 U.S. Supreme Court decision (Price Waterhouse v. Hopkins, 490 U.S. 228) holding that discrimination based on gender stereotypes violates the federal ban on sex discrimination in employment. The current, although still somewhat uncertain, trend in the case law is to accept and apply this theory to discrimination against trans women and men. Of course, the adoption of local, state and federal laws explicitly banning discrimination on the basis of gender identity or expression eliminates the need to rely on this theory and makes our protections much more secure.

I think Abby’s approach is a good one. There’s no guarantee some of these clients won’t abandon your boss at the first whiff of the word “trans”, but if they know you and like you already, they should be predisposed to making it work.

Bathrooms are a whole different issue. Privately-owned businesses are still private property in Michigan, meaning everyone that comes there does so by implied or overt invitation…and that invitation can be rescinded at any time. And it can be enforced legally through criminal trespass law. This is where Federal protection would really benefit us but as it stands, if they object to your use of the bathroom, you have no real recourse.

My solution was to deal with it much the same way that the potential for adverse reactions from coworkers in handled: I contacted the people in charge of each of the different groups I deal with, like the chief prosecutor, the presiding judge, etc., told them of my plans to transition and got their cooperation in sending an email (that I drafted) simultaneously to all these different groups announcing my transition and informing them about my transition in much the same way as I’ve outlined below. The result was that, other that a few congratulatory calls and emails, my transition was essentially a non-event in the legal community in which I work.

My recommendation is that you and your boss adopt this model in dealing with your clients. That means working with your boss to prepare a letter, memo or email to each of your clients explaining that (1) you have been diagnosed with GID, gender dysphoria or whatever other term you are comfortable with; (2) in accordance with internationally accepted standards for the treatement of this condition, i.e., the WPATH Standards of Care, you will be transitioning to living full time as a woman; (3) on X date you will be changing your name to Amber ____ and will thereafter live the rest of your life as a woman; and (4) asking for their cooperation and respect as you undergo this transition and that they address you by your new name and with female pronouns. I would also add a statement that you and/or your boss are available to answer any questions your clients may have. I wouldn’t give your clients more than a couple of weeks warning before you go full-time.

As for the bathrooms, I would avoid using restrooms at your clients’ businesses for some period of time until you and, hopefully, they, are comfortable with you as a woman. Given the sensitivity of that issue, rightly or wrongly, avoiding that issue as much as possible will definitely help smooth your transition with your clients.

I wish you good luck! You are well on your way to a happier life.

Blessings,
Abby