iPhone: It Brought Out The Muse, & Me

I like to stare out windows for hours at a time – I always have ever since I was a young child.

Here at my door is where I find inspiration looking at the same things I have many times before. The scene never fails to inspire me as it first did when I looked out, many years ago.

I use to muse for hours in the mirror at night too – trying to see the reflection of “something”. I never understood this and other day dream fascinations.

After many years, I finally understand what I have been looking for…

… a way home.

Yesterday when I took the photo above with my iPhone, I was thinking back to when I use to stand here at this door, and wish that I were a girl – Now, I am.

As of May 21st 2008, I became a fully Post-Operative, fully functional “woman” when I completed my Genital Reassignment Surgery with Dr. Suporn in Chonburi Thailand.

That’s right, I am a Transsexual. I was also born with a Chromosomal variation condition called Klinefelter’s Syndrome or (KS), aka: 47 XXY male.

There are many variations of Klinefelter’s Syndrome.
My KS variant is: “47 XXY Mosaic.

My Room – 2 Months Post-Op

On the surface, this picture may not be special, but it really speaks a lot about where I am at right now, being 2 Months Post-op from FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) that I under went from Dr. Suporn in Chonburi Thailand.

Here, I sit at my PC at night – Blogging, chatting or emailing online to friends, etc… anything to pass the time. It gets hard to sleep some nights. There is a lot of tightness in the scalp and temples. My head really itches everywhere, especially where they grafted in new hair (See photo notes).

This is my room – at least the clean part I am going to let any of you see right now. {giggles}

(Photo Above) Behind me is a long cork board filled with mementos from friends and people touched by my efforts from PinkEssence and my Blogs online. Thanks everyone who took the time – you’ve touched my life too. *sigh*

(Photo Left) As you can see in this photo, things are in deed coming along and I’m very pleased with Dr. Suporn’s FFS Work to my upper forehead, eyes and hair graft work. This is Post-op 2 months.

Yes, This is my disgustingly dirty desk – Holy crap is it messy! YIKES! (maybe a photo of just how mess it really is? Hmmm? Hey, if it cuts into watching Hogan’s Hero’s, forget about it.

“I know noth-zing, NOTH-ZING”… “Hogan”!

…and if you believe that, then maybe I can interest you in a slightly used Certificate that officially makes “Chloe Alison Prince” the name of a star in the “Alpha-Beta, Lambda Moo” quadrant for which I’ve listed for sale on eBay.

Anyway, seriously, all photos here (Except of “The Great Pink One”) were taken with my Apple iPhone’s 2 Mega-Bit Camera. No fancy Digital or DSLR or SLR camera; no professional make-up or lights… just me .

When I look at these photos, it seems hard to imagine I was the cover girl for “PinkEssence”.

When I took this famous photo, I had no idea where I was headed – that picture by the way has scored well over 13 million hits combined with my various sites, groups and Blogs. It has appeared in Lady Like and Pretty TGirls Magazines adding to make it one of the most popular and recognizable Transgendered iconic photos in the world. (Who knew…)

That was 2006

Today, July 30th 2008, 2 months after my SRS procedures, its taken me awhile to remember… …remember that the girl in that PinkEssence photo was a product of many things: Lighting, make-up, corsets, Photoshop and professional stylists. It’s a neat shot, and I love it… but its not the REAL me; The photo’s taken on my iPhone today, is…

I understand, now, that I can be that “made-up Chloe of PinkEssence” anytime… and I can make as many photos of me look fabulous also, any time. But this is the REAL me… and this is what I am most proud of… to finally be happy that my true reflection matches the way I have always felt and thought in my brain.

Still, like most any other genetic woman, I will of course work to delay the effects of Mother-nature and Father-time -But- I do so for vanity of personal perfection and fun ONLY – NOT because I am uncomfortable with the incongruencey of my gender and my reflection – *THAT* no longer bothers me, nor HOW I arrived in the sisterhood of women… it matters to me only that I HAVE finally arrived… fully aligned – mind, body and soul.

I was and still am very lucky – but many aren’t and later commit suicide because they can no longer cope without understanding, care and support from family, friends and their employers. I am still working on acceptance with some people in my life, but I was lucky in the fact that I have no shortage of people that rushed in to catch me when I fell, then stood me back up and pointed me in the right direction.

Behold, a Transgendered survivor – proof that Sexual Reassignment Surgery IS a cure for some of us – it was for me. A cure in that, I no longer feel different (or even like a transsexual); I just feel like… me… just Chloe.

It wasn’t easy – It took 4 years and over $70K to accomplish, not to mention all the money that my employer paid out for me to be on disability (Thank God) while I transitioned.

I would NOT be alive today had I not transitioned surgically… no doubt I would have succumb to the demons so many other Pre-Operative Transsexuals do… Thank you to all those that have helped me to get here – especially to my guardian angel – AND to those that stood by me, and even bigger hugs to those that came back… To those that have not, know that, I am always here until you are ready to be here with me.

“I did it Mom & Dad… I beat this Gendered Dysphoria. Your child is alive and I’m finally free..

…and I’m finally, coming home.”

Now, and forever – your daughter,
-Chloe

PS: Thailand Pictures

Many have asked for me to post my photos of my Transition journey in Thailand. I have begun adding those photos into my “Sets” of photo’s on Flickr. Please take a look, and keep checking back, cause I am still adding them in as I process them. Thailand and surgical Photos can be seen by following the links below.

The Suporn Clinic
www.flickr.com/photos/chloeprince/sets/72157605138919369/The Mercure Hotel in Chonburi Thailand (Where I stayed at):
www.flickr.com/photos/chloeprince/sets/72157605096502334/Photos of surgery, results and adventure in Thailand:
www.flickr.com/photos/chloeprince/sets/72157605516829119/
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