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Pretty/Handsome and A Little East Of Reality

I first came across the rumor of a TV show (based on GID) called ‘Pretty/Handsome’ buried in the comments section of the excellent ‘Being T’ (Thanks, Bitsy!). I was intrigued, but heard no more about it until yesterday when I was checking out the personal blogs of some other ‘Being T’ commenters and found Chosha, who had watched the pilot episode and reviewed it, and added some interesting thoughts and observations of her own on the topic of transgender:

In the end what I know for sure is that I don’t understand the hatred some people feel/show towards transgendered people. Even if you don’t understand it, even if it freaks you out a little, why does that translate into painting ‘die freaks’ on their house? (That’s what happened in the show.) ‘Freaky’ often just means ‘something I would never do’ or ‘something I don’t understand’ and that isn’t enough reason to hate on someone. It just isn’t.

I encourage you to go check out Chosha’s blog. I love how she’s taken up the challenge of educating herself on a topic in which, at first glance, she has no personal involvement.

And she’s a fan of the Riftgirl too! Yay!!

My new blog on wordpress

Just a quick note to let you know that I now have a blog on WordPress.  It’s Amber’s ramblings under amberdarlene.  Rather than posting my various adventures here, I thought I’d post them there.

Amber

“Ma’am” fallout

Earlier this week, I blogged about getting my first intentional ma’am from a sandwich maker at the local Subway.  The interesting thing is that I wasn’t trying to “pass” at the time.  If you’re interested, you could read about it on my 360 blog, including a picture of me wearing what I wore into the Subway, I had Teresa take the picture when I got home.  (We live in the same house.)

Anyway, this isn’t about that, it’s about the after-effects of it.  It was a simple thing and I got a big kick out of it, after all I was just on my way to a service call on what was supposed to be my day off.  (I gotta tell the boss that he’s cutting into my “girl” time.)   After I left the Subway, I kept looking in the mirror trying to figure out what she saw that caused her to call me ma’am.  The incident kinda freaked me out after a while, I was thinking “have I changed that much already?”

That was just one of the things going through my mind, I had an emotional surge when it occoured to me that she was looking right at me when she said it, and that I actually could be gendered as female.   That’s always been one of my fears, not being able to pass.  It held me up for a long time, and here I passed without even trying!  Very strange!

It must have hit me pretty deep, because when I was doing my service call at a multiplex cinema and had to go to the bathroom, it was a tough decision to go into the men’s room.   I actually felt like I didn’t belong there.   Now lately, I’ve been wearing a hat so no one sees the lack of hair on the top of my head, it’s not very female.

It seems like it was a defining moment for me, it’s really hard to go back to “guy” mode after that, I’m still struggling with it.  I know that my fears have kept me sitting on the “gender fence” for a while now, it’s really getting to be time to move!   The biggest problem I have with that is that I’m so unprepared, having taken a different path to get here.  I’ve never been a public “cross-dresser”, I started HRT with no “public exposure” experience.  Maybe it’s time to get out of my comfort zone.

How did your first real ma’am affect you?  Did it make you crazy and frustrated like it did me?

Notice to Commenters

As of July 10, 2008, comments posted under the name ‘Anonymous’ with obviously fake email addresses will no longer be approved on TRANScend GENDER.

There is no reason to comment anonymously. WordPress allows you to enter any name, nickname or “handle” when you comment, and the email address you enter is only visible to the blog administrators, not to the general reader or even contributors. It is far better to create an identity under which to carry on discourse – it makes the dialog far less confusing.

Making such a big deal out of being “anonymous” is trolling. We welcome a wide range of opinions as it does add to the discussion and make us all think a little deeper about these issues. However, we ask that you do so openly. We will never require that you identify yourself in such a way as to reveal your real life identity – I think we’re all too aware of how dangerous that can be to some of us in the “community”. Or even some of us who wish to remain outside such a community.

That said, carry on discussing!

Writer’s Block: Gender Bender

Livejournal has a feature which I’ve never used – a daily question with which to inspire posts in those who lack anything else to write about. It’s a bit hokey, but today’s question caught my eye:

Do you ever want to be of the opposite sex? If so, what attracts you to the idea? If not, what repels you?

Read the responses here – it’s interesting what aspects are the most important in the minds of those who have never considered the question before.

New England Transgender Pride March: Thoughts from a straight ally

I discovered this thought-provoking blog post from Jendi Reiter:

The first-ever New England Transgender Pride March took place this weekend in Northampton, and I was there with my “Episcopal Church Welcomes You” rainbow tank top and a digital camera to capture the pageantry. I was hoping to blend into the MassEquality contingent, but they were scattered around other groups this time, so I just milled around looking like I knew what I was doing, and took lots of pictures. Next thing I knew, someone had handed me a bunch of purple and white balloons, and I was marching behind the lead banner, shouting “Trans Pride Now”.

Go read the whole thing! You’ll be glad you did. 🙂

Looking for Contributors – Interested?

This site has always been open for contributors.

In fact, the reason transcendgender.com was developed was to create a community where people could post and share their ideas, personal stories and struggles, and gender-related issues they felt were worthy of public discussion. (It’s also a place where contributors can link to their own personal blog or website, thereby serving as a jumping point to a growing community.)

Posts can be in the form of a personal blog, or a newsworthy article, such as the ones creating fiery discussions currently taking place over the DSM-V workgroup selections, or maybe even an interesting trans-related video.

We’re always looking for anyone interested in being added as a contributor. If you’d like to be added, please send an email to help (at) transcendgender (dot) com with your name and wordpress account if you have one or reply to this post with a comment with all the required info.

We’re also always looking for ways to expand the site or make it better. We welcome your comments and suggestions.

Thanks!

Lori Davis

A Belated Introduction

(Post inspired by this post from Donna Rose)

So, many of you have probably seen my name popping up recently in comments around here (and other places, such as 360 and Livejournal) and wondered “Who is this strange person and why is she here?”

A brief summary to start with – I am female-bodied, and female-identified (Cisgendered, or Genetic Girl). My spouse of almost 13 years is currently questioning their own gender identity, which has made me reflect on my own life and discover how much of it has transcended gender norms and led me to a place where gender identity is almost a non-issue for me.

I was raised in a small town in Southern England in the 1960s. My mother was a single parent, and we lived with two elderly, never-married sisters who had been friends of my late grandmother. Thus my home environment was very much a matriarchal one, with females performing all roles – driving, finances, home maintenance, breadwinner, as well as the traditional female roles. My mother maintained a fairly androgynous appearance and would frequently get “sir’ed”, much to her annoyance. One of the sisters ran a Cub Scout Troop which met at the house, and thus my earliest playmates were male. I preferred my ‘Action Man’ (G.I. Joe) to my dolls, my train set to my doll’s house, and spent many hours climbing trees and becoming a “little woodsman” in our vast backyard. To me, none of this seemed odd and the only difference I was aware of between boys and girls was that we used different public restrooms. As you can see from the photo of myself aged 4, I looked like the typical ‘tomboy’.

Continue reading

An Oasis from a Failed Three Six Oh

“For millions of years, mankind lived just like the animals.  Then something happened which unleashed the power of our imagination…we learned to talk.”  Stephen Hawking

Thanks for stopping by.  If you were directed here by my 360 link, let me tell you a little bit about my intentions.

It seems as if our wonderful group of online friends have been scattered to the wind over a long period of time.  I met many wonderful people on yahoo360’s social networking service.  The only problem is that failed promises from yahoo in fixing it or creating something “bigger and better” continue to disappoint.   I hate seeing so many people being scattered to the wind.

This is, however, a blessing in disguise.  I ended up throwing my own blog on WordPress to cross post from the marginally operational yahoo360 site that I began with over a year ago.  What’s been happening since then has surprised me.

I’m making new friends, and many of them are not even within the small community of yahoo360.  In fact, many of them aren’t even transgendered.  Kinda cool.

I have invited some of these new people to join us here in this corporate blog.  Hence the name TRANScend GENDER.  It’s not just about being trans that makes us who we are, nor should it rule supreme in our thoughts and lives.  There is more to life than just life transgender.  And that’s why I want significant others or other non-trans friends to pipe in and share their ideas with me and with us.

And I don’t want any of us to lose sight in getting the support each and every one of us needs to get from here…to there, wherever that may be.

I just want people to find a place to come together and post what’s on their mind. A place where people can come to throw their thoughts into a blog where we can all view, review, and post comments. It’s also a place where we can share our own thoughts, and all of this without having to search or bookmark each other in 300 different places. Cross post from your own blog, 360 site, Myspace, or wherever. Contribute whenever you like. Comment whenever also. Do your thing, just do it with us!

Is that such a hard thing to do? we’ll see.

Lori D.