My thoughts as TDOR approaches

On the eve of Transgender Day of Remembrance 2008 I find myself reading sites on TDOR and it saddens me to no end what hatred can do to someone. I’ve hidden my true feelings most of my life in fear of this ignorance and hate. Fear of losing my family, friends or worse, having a run-in with one of the hatemongers who profess to know better than I do. Several years ago I hit a time in my life where hiding who I am was not working for me anymore. So I started the process of transition to get my life back on track. I’ve learned a lot over the years and know that I am on the right path for me.

During my skimming of the sites discussing TDOR, I came across some links to sites that profess to know what’s best for me (yah right) and I’d like to take some of the comments that were left at these various sites and personally reply to them here.

Note: Some comments are in reference to President-elect Barack Obama including sexual orientation and gender identity in his non-discrimination policy. But I felt a need to address some of these comments here because many show their ignorance and hatred toward trans people and felt it was important to discuss these issues.

“Well, there you go. Happy liberals? It makes me sick to my stomach.”
I never considered myself liberal, but yes it does make me happy. Happy that there is FINALLY someone in the White House who will give me the respect that I or anyone else deserves. Someone who will not discriminate against me because I am transsexual. If this makes you sick to your stomach I suggest that you take some milk of magnesia and call your doctor in the morning.

“I sincerely pray this doesn’t happen. What a short sighted policy with only one group being considered.”
One group you say. I believe he’s including everyone in this policy. From his Change.Gov site “The Obama-Biden Transition Project does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, age, national origin, veteran status, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, or any other basis of discrimination prohibited by law.” Now does that sound like one group? Not to me.

“People should be content with the way God made them, and if they are having trouble with that, seek godly council.”
First off, I don’t have a problem with the way God made me. I’ve accepted the challenges put in front of me and I’m ready to move forward with what I need to do to make my life better for myself. I’m not a mistake, I’m not a freak or anything else that you’d like to call me. I feel I have this condition for a reason and I plan on doing what I can do deal with it. If that means transitioning to the gender I was meant to be, then so be it. You’re the one that seems to have a problem with me being transsexual; maybe you should take your own advice.

“Gays and Lesbians can be delivered of this sin/sickness thru our Lord Jesus Christ! Obama is opening the door to more molestations to our children with this decision as well. Our country will need to pray continuously and stand up and fight for all Christian beliefs as that is what this country was founded on! God Bless!”
I’m sorry, but if you really believe I want anything to do with your children, you have another think coming. I have two wonderful supportive kids of my own. I too want to protect them from the molesters, but you are sadly barking up the wrong tree when you suggest that I would want to do anything to your children. Studies have shown that the only real treatment for someone who truly is transsexual is to accept who they are and do what they can to make their life better. Sometimes that means transitioning to their known gender. Nothing else has been shown to work, not shock therapy, confinement, religious institutionalization or any other treatment. By the way, the majority of the child molesters out there are not even in the LGBT community, and maybe you should look to them with your prayers. If you want to pray for anything, please pray for the 100’s of trans people who have been murdered for just trying to be themselves.

“As a woman who regards my gender as a gift rather than something to be disrespect, I don’t particularly find it either respectful or considerate for some guy who thinks he has to be “one of the girls” just because he likes to wear dresses any good reason to take over the women’s bathroom. Your choice-a very self-centered choice-is an assault on healthy, normal people. Just because you can’t figure out how to be a man isn’t cause for you to defile my feminity. I don’t appreciate that you make me have to put up with your self-gratifying, self-centered deprivation. Go to the men’s bathroom…honey. And go on ahead, call me a hater. What I really hate is how you deviates push your ugly behavior on normal, healthy people.”
I’m sorry that you feel I’m disrespecting you in any way, but that is far from the truth. You called it correctly though, you are a hater no matter how you slice it. There are millions of trans people in this world who just want to be left alone to live their lives as quietly as possible. I should be the one insulted by you “defiling my feminity”. Yes, I am a woman whether you like it or not. I’ve know it since I was 6 years old and that’s the God honest truth. BTW, if I walk in the women’s restroom, you or any other woman in that restroom is the last thing on my mind. I just want to get in there and do my business and get out like any other self respecting woman would. I would respectfully ask you and others to do your research on transgender people before you place judgment on me or any other trans person. There are several studies suggesting that there is a biological connection to this condition.

“God help us!”
Yes , God help us all to see that we are a loving people and that we mean no harm to any other. Although many of you would not even think twice about killing us, writing us off as rejects, denying us the same civil rights that every human being should have.  Too many have died at the hands of creeps who murdered Teish Cannon this past Friday with a gunshot to the chest. Or Lawrence King who was shot to death by a classmate at school, he was only 15. Duanna Johnson who was beaten badly by on-duty police officers in Memphis, TN. She was later shot in the back of the head execution style.  There are too many to mention here. Yes, I ask God’s help in showing others to have compassion for others in their plight to be their true selves. To show the world that we have every right to be here as much as you do.

I’m not asking anyone to like me, I could care less if you do. All I ask is respect for who I am and let me live my life for who I really am. A Woman. How many more have to die? I will not stand here anymore and be quit. I’m here in this world for a purpose and I plan on living my life the best I can and to treat everyone I meet with respect and dignity.

In closing I’d suggest that everyone read Abby’s post from yesterday and check out the video and links she provided. Peace!

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3 Responses

  1. “People should be content with the way God made them, and if they are having trouble with that, seek godly council.”

    I hate it when people say stuff like this. What does that mean in real terms? Should a blind person refuse the option of surgery that would save their sight? If a baby is born with a heart defect, would they leave it to die rather than fix the problem? And let’s get more basic – these people who think people should be content with the way God made them, do they wear make-up? Colour their hair? Wear high heels? How content exactly should we be?

    The real demand they’re making is that people be content to the extent that THEY are content, even though their situations are very different. Makes me mad.

  2. You’re exactly right, Chosha. People want us to be different than we are so that they won’t feel uncomfortable. But it’s not our job to protect them from their own discomfort; it’s their responsibility to deal with their own feelings, just as it’s my responsibility to deal with mine.

  3. Chosha, You put so well. I wish I would have put as well as you did 🙂 It amazes me how many people still have such an old world view of these issues. I don’t expect everyone to understand or accept trans issues right away, but if more people would at least reach out to a trans person and listen to thier story (truly listen), I think this world would be a better place for everyone.
    Take care.
    Hugs Michelle

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