I must say that yesterday was a busy day. One of my girlfriends invited me to join her and another friend of ours out to a local (semi local to me, 1 hour away) LGBT bar in CT called Triangles. It also happened to be on a night that Vicky was working and I had nothing planned for the weekend. It didn’t take me long to realize that it’s been a long time since I’ve been out and about. I was excited about the opportunity to be able to hang out with a good friend.
Well, as I watched the time go by yesterday morning, I tried to get a few things together before I had to take my daughter to a student council picnic where she was to hang out with the incoming freshmen and answer any question they had about the school. I dropped her off at her school and went back home to try and put together what I wanted to take. I couldn’t decide on what to take so I ended up packing several outfits that ended up filling a duffle bag that came to my waist. I packed a couple pair of shoes and a pair of boots that I’ve been waiting for the right time to break them in, along with makeup and a few other little necessities for the evening. I’m just glad that bag had wheels so it made it easier to move around.
We were supposed to meet up at a hotel that most of the girls rent out for the night, this place is TG friendly (specially on the evening of the TG party). When I finally got there, there was several other girls there getting dressed. My friend Brittney and A?? greeted me and we shared a big hug. I proceeded to get ready for the evening and after my personal makeover, I was really starting to get excited about getting out to Triangles. In a way, I was surprised to see so many getting ready at the same time. But it actually turned out to be a nice evening. I met another TS girl, she was very nice and I was pleasantly surprised to learn that she was TS/fulltime. We talked a little bit at the changing room, and later in the evening. It was nice to get to know other TS’s in the area.
Brittney and I had a great time talking and catching up on what’s been going on with each other. She even got out on the dance floor, but I stayed to watch the table. As the evening went on there were more guys that would show up, and I was enjoying watching these two guys dance together. They were pretty good as they dipped and spun around. SH*@, I just realized something. Last night was one of the most freeing times I’ve had in a long time. I felt more confident in myself, but still got a bit of self doubt. I felt more comfortable being myself last night then I do in my drab mode (remember duality?). I think maybe I’m feeling a pendulum swinging but it’s starting to lean more towards the person I need to be. Last night I did not want this feeling to go away. Last night I felt, I don’t know how to explain it. As if something in me was just freed, I felt like I never felt before walking around the bar. And being able to spend this time with a great friend was awesome. One other thing that happened last night was a guy asked me to dance. I said to myself, “What the heck should I say.” I blurted out the only thing I could think of, “I’m sorry but we are leaving in a little bit”. I was flattered that someone would ask me to dance, but I think my shyness got in the way. We left shortly after that. Once we got out side we exchanged hugs. On my drive home last night, I looked back on the evening with a great since of freedom. The Freedom to be myself, the freedom to enjoy the evening through, MY EYES! It’s a nice place to be J I hope I can hold on to it for a while longer.
I’d like to talk about something that Suzi talked about in her blog, “Reaching out”. You never know what a difference you could make in someone’s life. Brittney and I have reached out to each other at times to help support each other in what we were about to do. I see a bright and cheery future for her. I think in a way I was trying to reach out last night. I have been feeling shallow lately and was in need of some justification of me! As we talked I felt more at home in my own self than ever before. I hope this is not a fleeting moment. How do I hold on to it? I know with some of the local and online friends I’ve made, there are a few I admire what they have gone through to get to this point. They all reached out at one time or another and it saved many from feeling worse. Their collective knowledge went along way to help others. I hope that we can continue to do the same for others. I Love what Suzi had said YOU SHOULD NEVER BE ALONE. Remember to reach out…please. So when you’re feeling down, really think about what the song SO SMALL by Carrie Underwood is saying. Find that love for yourself and be free.
P.S. Oh hey, Those boots. They were GREAT! I felt great in them all evening.
Filed under: Blogging, Transgender | Tagged: Girls night out, Reach out, So Small, Transgender, transsexual | 1 Comment »
TRANScend GENDER 
News concerning the DSM – V. (a.k.a. “uh-oh.”)
The following was posted on Transadvocate.com website. I’m reposting it because like Mercedes, I see this as a very consequential and momentous event in the psychological and medical treatment of transgendered people. — Lori Davis
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(crossposted in several places, and people are welcome to forward this on freely to others in the transgender and GLBT communities, as I see this as being very serious — Mercedes)
A short time ago, I’d discussed the movement to have “Gender Identity Disorder” (GID, a.k.a. “Gender Dysphoria”) removed from the DSM-IV or reclassified, and how we needed to work to ensure that any such change was an improvement on the existing model, rather than a scrapping or savaging of it.
Lynn Conway reports that on May 1st, 2008, the American Psychiatric Association named its work group members appointed to revise the Manual for Diagnosis of Mental Disorders in preparation for the DSM-V. Such a revision would include the entry for GID.
On the Task Force, named as Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Chair, we find Dr. Kenneth Zucker, from Toronto’s infamous Centre for Addictions and Mental Health (CAMH, formerly the Clarke Institute). Dr. Zucker is infamous for utilizing reparative (i.e. “ex-gay”) therapy to “cure” gender-variant children. Named to his work group, we find Zucker’s mentor, Dr. Ray Blanchard, Head of Clinical Sexology Services at CAMH and creator of the theory of autogynephilia, categorized as a paraphilia and defined as “a man’s paraphilic tendency to be sexually aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman.”
Drs. Blanchard, Zucker, J. Michael Bailey (whose work has even gone so far as to touch on eugenics) and a small cadre of others are proponents of dividing the transsexual population by sexual orientation (”homosexual transsexuals” vs. ”autogynephilic”) and have repeatedly run afoul of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH, formerly HBIGDA), and openly defied the Standards of Care that WPATH maintains (modeled after the original SoC developed by Dr. Harry Benjamin) in favor of conversion techniques. Blanchard and Bailey supporters also include Dr. Alice Dreger, who re-stigmatized treatment of intersex, controversial sexologist Dr. Anne Lawrence, and Dr. Paul McHugh, who had set out in the begining of his career to close the Gender Clinic at Johns Hopkins University and has been one of our most vocal detractors.
An additional danger that gay and lesbian communities need to be cognizant of is that if Zucker and company entrench conversion therapy in the DSM-V, then it is a clear, dangerous step toward also legitimizing ex-gay therapy and re-stigmatizing homosexuality.
I am not familiar with others named to the Work Group. It would be worthwhile looking into any history with WPATH that they might have, to know if we have any positive advocates on board, or just more stigmatizing adversarial clinicians. They may be appointed primarily to address other listings categorized as ”Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders,” I don’t know. They are:
* Dr. Irving M. Binik, McGill University, Montreal, Canada
* Dr. Peggy T. Cohen-Kettenis, VU University Medical Center, Amsterdam
* Dr. Jack Drescher, New York Medical College, St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Center, NY
* Dr. Cynthia Graham, Isis Education Centre, Warneford Hospital, Oxfordshire, UK
* Dr. Richard B. Krueger, NY State Psyciatric Institute and Columbia University, NY
* Dr. Niklas Langstrom, Karolinka Institutet, Stockholm, Sweden
* Dr. Heino F.L. Meyer-Bahlburg, Columbia University, NY
* Dr. Robert Taylor Segraves, MetroHealth Medical Center, Cleveland
The APA press release states that for further information regarding this, to contact Rhondalee Dean-Royce (rroyce@psych.org) and Sharon Reis (sreis@gymr.com), though it’s possible that they may govern the press release only, rather than have any involvement in the decision to appoint Zucker. The APA itself is headquartered at 1000 Wilson Boulevard, Suite 1825, Arlington VA, 22209. Their Annual General Meeting is currently being held (May 3-8, 2008) in Washington, DC.
I’m poorly situated (Western Canada, with no travel budget) to lead the drive for this, which I see as a very serious danger to the transgender community. So I am calling on the various Transgender and GLBT organizations to band together to take action on this, and will assist in whatever way that I and AlbertaTrans.org can.
I am also calling upon our allies and advocates in the medical community and affiliated with WPATH to band together with us and combat this move which could potentially see WPATH stripped of its authority on matters regarding treatment of transsexuals.
– Mercedes Allen, May 5, 2008
Filed under: Commentary, News, Transgender | Tagged: APA, autogynephilia, DSM, gender dysphoria, gender gender identity, GID, glbt, harry benjamin, intersex, psychology, reparative therapy, trans, transadvocate, transexual, Transgender, transsexual, WPATH | 4 Comments »